I’m frustrated and not sure what to do about it. Wanting something doesn’t make it so.  Waiting for it to be so changes my viewpoint.  I’m second guessing everything I do and that kind of spoils the whole thing for me.  I’m afraid I’m losing the original spark waiting for something to happen that can’t be cultivated. I want you Scout…I want you wholeheartedly and without reservation.  I don’t want to wait.  I don’t want to take a back seat. It’s that simple. I’m not myself when I’m trying to stay reserved…I’m SURE that’s not the person you want.