This weekend was the most fun I’ve had in years and I mean that literally. It was really nice just spending time focusing on me and J and enjoying each other’s company.  Seeing your partner experience new things and relating to things outside of the norm is invaluable and brought me closer to her…and her to me, I think.  While we did a lot on Saturday my favorite part was just sitting on the rocks next to her, watching the waves come in, with her arm on my shoulder.  No words, just both of us spending that time together and …

So, I’m sitting here working… and I get this email that totally changes my day. It’s funny how you gain strength from others…and it the best kind of gift because it doesn’t cost anyone anything. Thanks.

It’s Monday and I’m muddling along. I’m trying to understand myself a little better and trying to get myself out of this funk. I’m still quite smitten regarding Scout and I’ve been trying to understand and accept that situation. It still doesn’t make sense to me why I’m so upset about this. How could I be so emotionally invested in something when it’s clear her investment was minimal if non-existant. I guess my lucid dreams have a lot to do with it. Those dreams are so real…and definitely something I bought in to. Putting the cart before the horse was …

The Red Sox Pearl Jam Tenacious D Mii Target Conneticut Cambridge Oatmeal Stout Guitar Hero Kayaks Balsamic Reductions HIghlander Empty water glasses left out overnight Lip biting Lost Any particular order Scientists Swedish Fish Memorial Day Peanuts Wrinkles Cold Hands Lumbar Pillows Fork Tricks French Canadians Amsterdam

A good “friend” helped me out today. He’s a Tabblo member that has one of the best photographic eyes I’ve ever seen. I told him about the heartache I was feeling and he decided to help me out by making a beautiful Tabblo that really hits home. Check it out…it’s beautiful. http://www.tabblo.com/studio/stories/view/1486880/ The interesting thing is…the only thing he knew was what I told him. He doesn’t know me outside of Tabblo but he captured the theme SPOT ON…it’s uncanny. There are so many reasons why it touches me and it’s perfect. Thanks James Sirnicolay! Listen to the music as …

So, with all the things that have happened in my life over the previous week I’ve spent the last few days reflecting on circumstances. Ideally every dissapointment or failure should be an opportunity to learn something…but I’m not sure if I’m learning much. I’m not sure how differently I would approach things. Is that because I did everything right? No, by no means…but I don’t think I did a whole bunch wrong. Yes, I could have been more ‘goal oriented’ in the relationship department but there was a reason I was being patient. I”m horrible at reading women, that’s for …

I was hoping this movie was going to get better… Perhaps it was too much to imagine someone waiting for me when I got home from work, there to surprise me and tell me I’m theirs. I guess those kind of moments are great in movies but real life kind of gets in the way of dramatic license. I’m just down in the dumps a bit…I’ll get over it I suppose. You’ll have to put up with the sullen Mookie for a while. I just with there was an answer for why it happens for one person and not the …

Got used to you here. This little place in my heart. I’ll miss your kisses. M(still)iH

This weekend didn’t go at all like I planned it. It was a carwreck in a pretty big way. Now I’m sitting here, music fueling me, trying to deconstruct something that shouldn’t be messed with. I want to breathe fire. I’m not going to go into any detail, but let’s just say things came to a conclusion and it wasn’t pretty. It’s too bad I don’t drink, last night would have been a good night for a nice single malt to placate the worries that nip at me like little fish distracting me from what I should be thinking about. …