Over the last few years I’ve really let myself go physically. I’m currently pushing on 300 lbs, which is deadly at my age. The weight gain can be chocked up to several things but primarily it’s been due to alcohol, excessive food intake, a sedentary lifestyle, and a need for therapy.

Those things may seem like obvious issues that could have been taken care of before they got to this state. From the outside it’s easy to see…but from the inside these were changes that we at first easy to ignore, and then eventually became shameful to acknowledge.

The time has come, and might have passed, to acknowledge these issues before I die from them.

“Die? Aren’t you being a bit dramatic Eric?” you might say.

No is my answer. I’m in constant pain, the basic tasks become chores that leave me short of breath (putting on my socks), and I’m in a medical “Danger Zone” of obsesity, age, and fitness level.

“So…how do you fix things?” I have no idea.

I feel like I’ve tried everything from the Keto Diet to enrolling in New England Fat Loss, which is more scam than science. I’ve got a juicer, an instant pot, smoothie blenders…it never stops. Currently I’m trying to integrate a 100 lb bag of protein powder into my life. It’s called “Mana” and it’s a complete 400 calorie food “source.” The problem is that it tastes like Oats to a degree that borders on unpleasant.

The concept of burning more calories than I take in is a simple concept to grasp…until you break it down. It gets a little complicated when you have to measure, in grams, the food you eat. 8-10 ounces of protein, 2 cups of approved veggies or 1 cup veggies with an approved starch. Eat that 4 times a day and exercise.

“Wait…don’t you grocery shop and cook for your entire family Eric?”

Why yes, I do. My children and wife are particularly picky eaters despite my efforts to expand their pallets. So, besides my specifically measured and prepared meal I’ve got to make their meals as well.

“That must be tough, especially in the time of Covid-19.”

Not only do I have to make multi-menu dinners, I have to take 2 other meals and snacks into account. Do you have any idea how much time I spend considering, shopping for, and preparing all the meals and snacks in the house? It’s maddening. It runs a fair portion of my life.

I keep joking to my wife that I’ll have to join a summer fat camp. The kind that were advertised in the back of the comics when I was a kid…with the image of a kid throwing a football (if you’re my age and into comics you’ll remember it).

I need someone else to worry about what I eat.
I need someone else to help me become more physically fit.
I need some help dealing with the pain.
I need some therapy to deal with all of this.

I’m the stay at home Dad, who works from home.
I do all the shopping and food preparation.
I watch the children during the day while my Sweets is at work.

How in the hell am I going to be able to focus on myself when I have a responsibility to focus on the needs of my family. It’s a conundrum that I chew on regularly…and then I give up.

It all seems to be too much…and it’s killing me, literally.

I’ll keep at it until I can’t. Who knows right?

Over the last few years I’ve really let myself go physically. I’m currently pushing on 300 lbs, which is deadly at my age. The weight gain can be chocked up to several things but primarily it’s been due to alcohol, excessive food intake, a sedentary lifestyle, and a need for therapy.

Those things may seem like obvious issues that could have been taken care of before they got to this state. From the outside it’s easy to see…but from the inside these were changes that we at first easy to ignore, and then eventually became shameful to acknowledge.

The time has come, and might have passed, to acknowledge these issues before I die from them.

“Die? Aren’t you being a bit dramatic Eric?” you might say.

No is my answer. I’m in constant pain, the basic tasks become chores that leave me short of breath (putting on my socks), and I’m in a medical “Danger Zone” of obsesity, age, and fitness level.

“So…how do you fix things?” I have no idea.

I feel like I’ve tried everything from the Keto Diet to enrolling in New England Fat Loss, which is more scam than science. I’ve got a juicer, an instant pot, smoothie blenders…it never stops. Currently I’m trying to integrate a 100 lb bag of protein powder into my life. It’s called “Mana” and it’s a complete 400 calorie food “source.” The problem is that it tastes like Oats to a degree that borders on unpleasant.

The concept of burning more calories than I take in is a simple concept to grasp…until you break it down. It gets a little complicated when you have to measure, in grams, the food you eat. 8-10 ounces of protein, 2 cups of approved veggies or 1 cup veggies with an approved starch. Eat that 4 times a day and exercise.

“Wait…don’t you grocery shop and cook for your entire family Eric?”

Why yes, I do. My children and wife are particularly picky eaters despite my efforts to expand their pallets. So, besides my specifically measured and prepared meal I’ve got to make their meals as well.

“That must be tough, especially in the time of Covid-19.”

Not only do I have to make multi-menu dinners, I have to take 2 other meals and snacks into account. Do you have any idea how much time I spend considering, shopping for, and preparing all the meals and snacks in the house? It’s maddening. It runs a fair portion of my life.

I keep joking to my wife that I’ll have to join a summer fat camp. The kind that were advertised in the back of the comics when I was a kid…with the image of a kid throwing a football (if you’re my age and into comics you’ll remember it).

I need someone else to worry about what I eat.
I need someone else to help me become more physically fit.
I need some help dealing with the pain.
I need some therapy to deal with all of this.

I’m the stay at home Dad, who works from home.
I do all the shopping and food preparation.
I watch the children during the day while my Sweets is at work.

How in the hell am I going to be able to focus on myself when I have a responsibility to focus on the needs of my family. It’s a conundrum that I chew on regularly…and then I give up.

It all seems to be too much…and it’s killing me, literally.

I’ll keep at it until I can’t. Who knows right?